Sweet story, Regina

Getting ruffied will do that to you, Regina.

Lauren is smart

Lauren is retarded

Kayla is DTF

By the looks of her picture, Kayla is also down to do it multiple times.

The puppy who lost its way

Tina was so upset she needed to get some extra cash for her pizza delivery.

Jimmy caught a cold

Jimmy needs his fix.

I think Chris likes to dance

Dancing is for strippers, dancing is for lap dances, dancing is for $1 in g-strings

Brian wears banana hammocks

Brian deserves a foot up his ass from Red Forman.

This is too good not to post

I hope this guy writes back on her wall, "u 2"

Carlos has crabs

Usually crabs does that to people, Carlos.

Kim is nuts

I feel awful for the people that raised her.

"The Jeff" is cooler than you

With a name like "The Jeff" I would've expected at least two straight hours on the pong table. It's time to get your weight up, The Jeff.

Nick is classy

It doesn't take too much imagination to realize why his right arm is out of commission.

No, you're not Hasheem

You actually are atoolwithtoomuchtimeonhishands

Nate can't hide the truth

It's actually translated to "Nate is outrageously excited for the new season of Gossip Girls"

Mary deserves a medal

I think we all should be happy for Mary. She is obviously done caring about how crappy her statuses are.

Missy has issues

Get your act together, Missy, you're falling apart.

FINALLY

Thank God

Nick got blue balled

I think Nick should have used those "gigantic balls" to talk to this girl in person. But what do I know? Real men put their feelings up on Facebook.

what up BRO? that popped collar is so sick

I hope this guy gets sent to Guantonamo.

Greg is hood as hell

Greg's mom doesn't let him use curse words on the internet. But he's still a bad ass.

Megan is a drama queen

If there is one thing that makes Facebook as bad as Myspace it's applications. And girls send more of those things than tri-Delt gives out herpes. So thank God Megan still has the gift that keeps on giving.

Andrew needs a hug

Poor kid

Mary thinks we care

You know what I was wondering this morning when I woke up? I was wondering what Mary's entire schedule for the day was. Thank God I know now!

Sept, 9, 2008

Welcome, guys. I'm creating this because I bet my roommate Camber that I'd make more money than him. And, awful Facebook statuses really suck.

Usually, these come from girls, but when a guy puts a line up like this, it's too good to pass up.